Being from the Northeast, part of my morning routine typically includes a trip under the Pink and Orange sign of Dunkin' Donuts. Trips to any type of fast food, coffee shop, or convenience store will inevitably give you reason for pause. The service gets progressively worse, the [people behind the counter] get more and more "interesting", and for some reason the wait seems to get longer every day.
Whether I visit the drive-thru or the counter, my order is pretty standard, pre-meditated, and delivered clearly, concisely, and in some semblance of the English (perhaps an issue) language.
PC: "G'Morning. A Large [hot, iced] coffee, black, with 2 Equal, please."
Occasionally, I'll throw in a flavor shot. I might even double my order. I do not, however, deviate from the formula. I tell them what cup to grab, what temperature, and what to put in it. I intentionally order in that sequence because that's the sequence in which they will perform the tasks required. I do not speak quickly, and I intentionally annunciate (I remember my previous experiences). Further, I generally visit the SAME shops. Usually more than once a day. Now I'm not saying remember me, but shit, remember past orders that you've screwed up (MINE).
Somehow, I don't think the Franchise owners and Management take into account how important coffee is when they go through the hiring process. Seriously.
Ok, now on to what motivated me to write a post about my morning routine. As I placed my order in the drive-thru the other morning:
PC: "I'll just have a LARGE, ICED coffee, BLACK, with two(2) equal, please."
The tinny, electronic voice comes back with:
DD: "Would you like to try our new flatbread sandwich?"
PC: "Nope. Just the coffee. Thanks."
Now, I've noticed this is common practice just about every place you go. Little buttons that say "If I don't offer you a strawberry-mango smoothie, IT'S FREE". Drive-thru attendants "Want to try a muffin today?" That poor little "Ding-fries-are-done" kid offering "an apple pie with that". I get it, it's what they do.
But has anyone EVER been inspired via drive-thru to try something like that? Much less a "flatbread sandwich" from a coffee shop? Honestly? I've never heard something from that little speaker that just tickles me enough to say "Well, the picture turned my stomach, reading the description nauseated me, but now that you MENTION it, and I hear you asking me if I wish to try it, HELL YEAH, I'll take TWO!"
EE apparently misses reading my sweet voice, and has queried whether I would ever write again. Yes, I reckon I will. It's been a frustrating few weeks. Between battling the urge to throttle civilians, swearing at my baseball team, and trying to square away finances and paperwork, among other demons, I haven't exactly been in a blogging mood. My cynicism is palpable, but it's not FUN cynicism.
